Guns N' Roses
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Violence leads bloodshed. Eli's current mental state effects the whole Degrassi student body...The results make Clare's life crumble at her fingertips. Please Review. I do not own Degrassi
1. Bulletproof

Hello everyone. This is just a new idea I thought of. Tell me if you like it. It is my interpretation of the Season Finale.

...

**Bulletproof**

_Cold….dark….damp….muggy. This was the fear that enraptured you…..buried you alive….No one can hear your screams. No one can find you as your body lay limp on the floor. Clare swallowed the lump slowly down her throat as a lone tear fell down her cheek._

"_This is all your fault Clare"! Eli yelled venomously. His eyes darkened as he cornered her against the wall standing her up._

"_Look what you made me do…Say something….Say something." He punched his fist against the wall not caring that his knuckles were bleeding. He refused to let her go as he trapped her with both arms. _

_Clare continued to cry. She didn't know he was like this…crazed…an untamed animal…a beast. She never thought that he would hit her._

"_Look at me." He yell. His breath on her face... _

"Clare…" Alli startled her best friend. "You must have been thinking about something emotional?" Alli asked her friend.

"Not much…just what color scheme we need for the dance….black and white or red and gold."

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope." Clare roughly said. She knew Alli was worried about her. She's pretty sure at this point she looked like a ghost, but she had the weight of Elli's world on her shoulders. She saw the signs in her face. As many times as she tried to shake her head free of the bad thoughts, the nightmare kept coming back….kept replaying in her mind.

What did this dream mean? Was he coming for her?

…

"What would you do if I told you I had to tell someone the most important thing ever?" Alli asked Dave as they were decorating the gym for tonight's dance.

"Alli, it's just punch." Dave said oblivious to the matter at hand.

"No. Not that." Alli laughed as she looked at Clare on the other of the gym. She left to give her some space. Lately, Clare was in and out of it. The mention of Eli's name made her jump. She put on a good façade for everyone to see….but she knew her best friend.

Clare was brave. She didn't want anyone to know that she needed help…needed to get away from the madness that was Eli. She was scared Eli would not let her go.

"O…" Dave caught on to her serious tone.

"Then….I would listen." Dave sat in a chair giving her his undivided attention.

"…at my old school….one of my associates…Samantha…had this friend named Julia. They were both goth but you would not think they were by looking at them in their uniforms. Samantha…would tell me about Julia…and her boyfriend…she never said his name. Anyways he would always invade her space….he was super needy and….

"Wait…that doesn't mean the guy is bad. What if he liked her and had no experience with other girls?" Dave tried to rationalize.

"No." Alli shook her head. "Samantha told me that he had hit her a couple of times…he had become controlling…panicy. Julia died last year she was trying to end the relationship with the guy.

…..

Fitz hated this very minute. Standing in front of his old school where he happened to almost stab a stab a guy was not pleasant. He was changing day by day…second by second. As he walked up the stairs he remembered how he tried to make everyone a victim of his wrath. He took pride of seeing them squirm and quiver in fear.

He was here on a special mission. His boss made him talk to Principal Simpson about The Dot servicing their party. They needed his signature on some invoices.

As he walked down the hall, the teens looked at each other. What was the delinquent doing here? The pride he one had for striking fear into others made him sick. He didn't want people to be afraid of him.

"No one wants you here." Adam blocked his path.

"I've apologized more than once. I've tried to make amends." Fitz walked around him. Walking into Simpson's office, the principal was preoccupied.

"Clare. Tell Mrs. Suave that she has to chaperone with Perino."

"Will do." Clare began to walk towards the door.

"…Hey." Her eyes glowed.

"…Hey Clare." Fitz bit his lip as she walked passed him. He handed Simpson the paper to sign.

…..

"Clare. We can't let this stand…he just walked in the place like he owns it." Adam said.

"Adam. He doesn't go here anymore. The Dot is catering for us…remember."

"So it's a coincidence that he is the one who talks to Simpson….I'm telling you. He's planning something."

"You're paranoid. Violence plus violence equals…..only bloodshed." Clare stated.

"Seriously. What would Eli think? You haven't even noticed that he has gone M.I.A." Adam stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"It doesn't matter." Clare walked towards the gym.

….

"Shut the front door." Dave interrupted again. "How do you know this is the guy? You said it yourself that she didn't say the guy's name. This could be a different Julia."

"…..Because she died on the same night that Eli's Julia died on. This is more than mere coincidence. I should have told Clare sooner but I wasn't sure and Eli treated her so good. He protected her."

"To the extreme….She's your best friend. Do what you think is best." The two were so in deep with their conversation that they didn't notice Clare walk up to them.

"What's best for who?" Clare asked.

"…Sadie. Alli was telling me what color corsage matched with her eyes." Dave walked off to get some balloons from Holly J.

….

Eli was in his private world in the woods. He had to confront his demons. His mind was spinning and racing. He was pacing back and forth pulling hair from his follicles. He began banging his fists against his car.

"You." He declared madly.

"Even in your death, you won't leave me alone. You take everything away from me. You're even taking away my sanity."

"_I want to break up Eli." Julia stood in his doorway folding her arms. Her dark hair plastered around her face._

"_no…I won't allow it." Eli walked to her grabbing her arms possessively._

"_You are mine to protect." He gritted his teeth._

"_No I'm not Elijah. This isn't love. This is control…and tears….and bruises…apologizes…I can't do this._

"_Fine then…If you leave…just go…you'll regret it."_

He dried his eyes remembering his last words with her. If she would have stayed with him, she would have been alive.

"This is all your fault!" He yelled at the stone heart with his and her name in the center.


	2. Armageddon

Armageddon

Chapter 2

….

"Clare please don't get mad at me." Alli pleaded with her.

"Girls let's not cause a scene." Holly J intervened.

"No need for that." Clare began to walk outside with Alli following her. "So you decide not to tell me this one important detail. What were you thinking?" Clare stormed out of the school.

"Come on Clare. You would not have believed me anyway. You would think I was being the drama queen."

"That's not the point." She stopped dead in her tacks.

"You are my friend. You are supposed to look out for me no matter what.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Alli said.

"So much that you told Dave." Clare stated.

"I had to get someone else's opinion. He's never lied to me." Alli said. "Please forgive me."

"….I'm still mad…but I'll get over it." Clare finally said.

….

"You gonna get ready for the school dance?" K.C. asked Drew as they boarded the bus.

"I don't know if I'm going…Bianca's out of town. Why did her great aunt decide today to die?" Drew rolled his eyes. K.C. looked away.

"Not to sound harsh, but I was looking forward to it. For months we have been in prison…now we get set free…and I can't go." He complained.

"You can go….I'm sure Alli's going to be there." K.C. said cocking an eyebrow.

"I may consider then." Drew smiled.

…

"A rose for my rose." The text message stated. Of course Eli sent it to her. Why didn't he get the message. This was the third text he sent to her in 30 minutes. Maybe if she responded back, he would leave her alone.

"By that expression….Eli's done it again." Clare rolled her eyes at Fitz. She was frustrated…frustrated that he could read right through her. She thought she had perfected herself to not show emotion when she was tense.

"I noticed your phone vibrated a lot. I figured it was your body guard…again." He handed her a chicken wrap with a Sprite.

"Not….anymore." Clare said with slight depression slurping her drink slowly.

"He doesn't know that." Fitz stated. He was scared for Clare.

…..

Why did Adam open the door? He knew Eli was sporadic more than ever now. His pacing was making Adam more nervous of his friend's actions.

"She wouldn't answer my phone calls Adam." Eli said.

"Maybe she's getting ready for the dance." Adam said.

"No, she was at the Dot…right under Fitz's nose." Eli said.

"How…."

"Because I saw her there."

"woah…Eli you followed her."

"yeah but that's not the point."

"She's supposed to pick up the phone. I am her boyfriend." At this point Adam began to walk to the door. Eli caught on.

"Where are you going?" Eli pulled out a handgun from his jacket pocket.

"No where." Adam's voice began to shake.

"Don't worry. It's not loaded."

"Eli. I'm going to call your mom and dad. You need help." Adam walked to the phone.

"No!" He bellowed running up to Adam.

"I won't let you. This is something I have to do myself." Eli put Adam in a chokehold rendering him unconscious.

Not realizing what he had just done, he felt like he had an out of body experience…so surreal…

This was Julia's fault. He kept repeating the mantra to himself.

…

"So glad Dave threw K.C. a bachelor party." Jenna babbled away eating popcorn. Alli met her at her house to get ready for the party. Jenna didn't want to come. The baby took too much energy away from her, but she wanted to see what her friend was wearing.

"Where is Clare?" She asked.

"She's getting ready. Her mother is helping her." Alli lied and told the truth at the same Jenna didn't need much stress with baby so close to birth.

"That's great she needs that. "

…..

"Okay…K.C. if Jenna wasn't pregnant, would you try with Clare again?" Drew asked.

"Nope. As they say love the one you're with." He said.

"You are so lying." Dave said picking up his phone.

"Hey, the spare key should be in your brother's locker. See ya in 30 min." Dave hung up.

"Why is Alli calling you?" Drew asked.

"She needed the spare key to the storage closet. Holly J is with Fiona and Sav is taking a college tour this weekend."

"O."

"Anyways, why should it matter to you? You don't want her." K.C said.

"You know me. I never throw anything away." Dave rolled his eyes at the remark.

….

As Clare began to walk in she felt so excited. She was about to spend 2 hours with her best friend dancing and not caring about the world….until she felt a hand pull her in the bushes.

"Clare….you look so beautiful." Eli said smiling insanely. "Here's your corsage. I knew the color would look beautiful with your eyes."

"…." Clare just looked at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to make him go ballistic…at least more than what he was.

"Please…let's just go have fun. No strings attached. He reached into his pocket. Clare's heartbeat stopped when she saw the gun in his pocket. Eli didn't notice this as he pulled out the two tickets.

He gripped her waist gently as they walked up the stairs. Terror was taunting her at this minute.


	3. Panic! At the Disco

Panic! At the Disco

Chapter 3

….

As they all finished cleaning the house from his bachelor party, the boys split up. Dave and Drew went to the dance, while K.C. went to go see Adam. He wanted him to come to the party. He had nothing against him.

As he walked to the door, he noticed it was already opened. Walking inside he found Adam tied up with duck tape across his mouth.

"O my God….Adam…who did this to you? Was it….?"

"No….it was Eli. He's gone mental. He has to be stopped before someone else gets hurt." Adam ramble.

"Where are your parents? How did it all happened?"

"They're at a conference for the weekend…Eli just came in saying how he has to keep him and Clare together." Adam picked up the phone calling the police.

…

Alli was really happy with the way the dance looked. She needed this. The lights were bright and everyone was smiling and enjoying themselves.

She danced with Drew a couple of times. She smiled remembering how happy she was with him. She and Clare both needed to relax and…..Her thoughts stopped as she saw Clare and Eli walk towards her. Something about his eyes…..weren't quite right.

"Hey Alli" Clare tried to convey a message.

"Hey." Alli hugged her friend. "Eli." She stated.

"Hey Alli." He said. "Excuse me Clare I'm going to go to the bathroom. As he walked off, Alli stated:

"Thought you two were on a break?" Clare ignored her statement.

"We have to tell Simpson. He has a gun." Clare stated with panic.

As Fitz unloaded the food, he saw a police officer talk to Simpson.

"Please tell your students to evacuate the building. There is suspicion that a student has a gun on the perimeter."

"Thank you officer." Simpson said. Fitz turned his attention to Clare. He knew Eli was going to hurt her. He had to get her out of here.

…

Eli had no intention of going to the bathroom. He put a wedge in the other gym doors so no one could get out. He didn't want to do this but he was forced to. He was going to be with Clare no matter what. Any one who got in the way would be taken care of.

When he walked to the main door, he saw the police officers.

"Shit." He pulled his hair. Who told? His plan was not going the way he wanted it to. Reaching into his pockets he put bullets in the gun. Everyone would suffer.

…

"We need a good lie to get everyone out of here." Fitz told the others.

"I'm on it." Clare messed with the fuse box. The student body immediately reacted to Mr. Simpson.

"Electricity outage. Go outside kids." They all began to scatter.

"Where is Dave?" Alli asked walking down the halls.

"Alli don't be dumb." Clare screamed. Fitz grabbed her.

"Don't be dumb running after her."

As the kids walked out, Eli hid in one of the classrooms. Trying to find Dave and not paying attention to anything else, one kid unintentionally pushed her into the locker, making her lose her balance. Getting herself off the ground, she continued her journey. She didn't notice Eli was walking behind her.

When Dave walked from the janitor's office, he dropped the broom he was holding. All he saw was Eli pointing a gun at Alli.

"You don't want me with her…do you…you never did." Eli said with a chilling calmness."That's why you called the cops on me. You want all the attention for yourself…so selfish…so

"Eli don't!" Clare said walking up behind him. "Doing this is not going to make things better. You need help. Please put the gun down."

"Clare don't you see. I'm doing this for you... For us."

…..

Outside, everyone was waiting….but for what? Were they waiting to wake up…to realize this was nothing but a dream.

"Mr. Simpson…is everyone ok?" Adam and K.C. asked noticing their friends weren't outside.

"We're not for certain." He replied.

Mr. Simpson was blaming himself for the madness. Mrs. Dawes had let him aware of "Stalker Angel." He brushed it aside…Just like Radich brushed Rick to the side. He had messed up once again. He let his students down. He noticed the many parents storming to their children except for four….Mrs. Bhandari, Mrs. Edwards, Mr. Turner, and the Bullfrog.

"I have to go in there and help my son." Mr. Turner said.

"No I can not allow it." The other policeman said. "You are to close, you might make the situation worse. We have some officers already in there ready to strike."

"So what do we do until then…are we supposed to wait until we see our children's body bags." Mrs. Edwards said as Mrs. Bhandari comforted her.

…..

Dave had never been so scared in his life. Somehow he found himself standing between Eli and Ali. He was facing death and death was laughing at him…taunting him. He would try to talk sense into the deranged gunman.

Ali couldn't move…couldn't breathe….

"This is all for you Clare…I love you." Eli stated.

"Eli please? This is not what you want." Dave began. "Think about what you're doing. You love Clare…but right now you are scaring her."

"Clare will understand after I do this." Eli hit his fist against the locker. "Everything I do is for her."

"Dave I'm so scared." Alli cried. Clare just looked at him. She lowered herself on the ground…silently praying.

"You should be…Dave move. This is not your battle….Move." Eli screamed. Dave lifted his arms.

**Boom**….

Dave lay on the ground holding his shoulder. Eli just looked…time stood still…he just shot someone.

Ali sat on the ground holding Dave, whispering in his ear."It will all be over soon." She held his wound blood dripping from the wound.

"See what you made me do Alli, it should have been you instead of him…."Eli stated.

"No it should be me." Fitz tumbled him to the ground as Eli dropped the gun. As the other officers heard the gunshot, they raced to the teenagers side.

"We need a paramedic….we got a kid shot in the shoulder." The officer reported over his radio.

Eli eventually got the gun from Fitz. Standing up watching himself being surrounded by the Swat team... he had to do this for Clare…so she would know that she was his purpose.

"Drop your weapon…if you don't we will shoot." The man in black said.

Looking at Clare, he grinned at her, "I'm sorry." Raising the gun to his head he pulled the trigger. His body lay their lifeless.


	4. Quagmire of Epic Proportions

Quagmire of Epic Proportions

Chapter 4

….

Clare's mind was blank. She was lost…and she couldn't be found. All she could hear was the sound of the gun as he took his own life. The man she had once loved….was no more. She had no recollection of how she got home…but she was here on her bed…shaking…with her mother's arms around her..telling her it wasn't her fault.

But it was her fault. Who knew the green-eyed walking enigma would turn into a psychotic suicide killer?

….

There Dave lay in the hospital room. The nurse gave him some morphine to dull the pain. Alli sat next to his bed holding his hand. Thank God he wasn't dead. She could have been died…but he saved her life. Luckily, his shoulder or his arm wasn't paralyzed.

Outside, Mr. Turner was filling out the paper work. He was proud of his son for being brave but he couldn't lose him. Without him he would be alone. He promised his late wife that he watch over his son.

"Mr. Turner." Mr. Bhandari shook the man's hand. "Thank you…your son…saved our daughter's life."

"Your welcome. I'm just glad the children are safe."

…

Normally, Clare wasn't allowed to have boys over after a certain time, but due to the circumstances her mother let her.

Fitz saw her on her bed, shaking. He didn't want that to be the last thing she remembered Eli by, but it happened….it is what it is. He didn't want to wish death on anyone. Clare wasn't even aware of his presence in her room until she felt someone lift her cover.

Turning around she looked up at him tears in her eyes. "Why did he have to die?" She kept asking. Fitz gave no answer as he held her in his arms.

"Usually at times like these. I would ask God for guidance but I don't know if can hear me. Why does he let these things happen?" Fitz listened to her.

"…things happen because we must learn…this is life and we must overcome the misery so we can enjoy the happiness of it." Clare just listened to Fitz. His voice was so soothing to her at this moment. She needed someone she could reach out to.

…

"No Jenna. You are not going." K.C. tried to calm his girlfriend.

"Why not? They are our good friends." Jenna stated. "We need to check on them."

"…Because you don't need this stress. The baby is due in days now. I want a healthy child. K.C. reasoned. "So please no more watching the news about it."

"Ok." She kissed him.

"Jenna when I saw Adam tied up like that…that's when I knew Eli was capable of taking someone's life…poor Clare…poor Dave.

Nothing was going to be the same anymore.

…..

As the morphine wore off, Dave was alarmed by the bright light of the hospital room. Giving him a glass to drink, he sat up in the hospital bed.

"How long have you been here Sadie?" She sat down.

"….about 15 minutes. Your dad is sleep outside. I had to convince him to leave your side for one minute."Dave laughed.

"Yeah…he's been a little bit overprotective since my mom died." He explained.

"I was so worried about you. The whole school sends you their love. You know I'm going out with the school hero." Sadie kissed his nose.

"Alli is lucky to have a friend like you. You're the kindest soul I know Dave." She bent over to kiss him.

"Not to ruin the moment, but I need my patient to get rest." The nurse said. Taking the hint Sadie left.

….

Alli couldn t go to sleep. Nightmare plagued her…Eli's lifeless body…Dave. She kept tossing and turning. Drew kept calling her, but she didn't want to talk to him or listen to his silly mind games. He would use this to manipulate her.

Dave stood in front of her without thinking. She left his side because she felt as if it were not her place to be there. Sadie should have been there for him. He did that because it was in his nature to put other people first. When he took that bullet for her, at that moment, she knew…she just knew… She was thankful her parents let her ride in the paramedic truck with him.

"_Just keep talking to him sweetie. Keep him calm we don't want him to go into shock." The medic said as they raced to the hospital._

_Dave's eyes were half opened. It was clear he wasn't coherent. He lost a good amount of blood. She wasn't sure if he could understand her._

"_Dave, I'm here. Just listen to my voice." She grabbed his hand._

"…_.Alli" He said squeezing her softly._

She cried tears for her friend.

…..

As Fitz held Clare in his arms…he just thought. He kept replaying the scene over and over in his head. He had seen others die before but then he was a different person. It was so simple to move on…like breathing.

The girl in his arms at this minute was detached…scared….incomplete. He would help her. She had finally stopped screaming. He would just rub her back and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

Of course he liked her…a lot. But she needed his help more than his affection at the time. He would be there for her.

….

Monday had come faster than Clare expected. She just couldn't go to school. She had gotten dressed and walked there, but as she began to walk up the stairs…flashbacks reentered her mind. She could still feel Eli's cold clammy hand around his waist…she could still see his face around the school….feel his presence. Turning around she began to walk…she had no idea where.

…..

Alli saw Dave's blood everywhere. She blamed herself for him getting hurt. She couldn't look Sadie in the face as she passed her.

"Hey Alli." Sadie caught her attention.

"Sadie…I'm so sorry." Alli cried.

"No. It's not your fault. Dave would have done that for anyone. " Sadie hugged her. After she put her books in the locker Drew came around the corner.

"You ok Alli?" He said.

"Yeah I'm good…still just tired."

"If you need anything, you have my number. I am only a call away."

"Thanks." Alli continued to walk to class. Passing the main office, she saw Mr. Simpson packing his belongings.

"What's going on?"

"I'm quitting." He said.

_. _


	5. Catastrophe

Catastrophe

Chapter 5

….

"You can't go. We don't want you to leave." Alli stated.

"This is a sign Alli. This wasn't meant for me." Simpson walked to his car. The student body just watched him walk out the door.

Alli followed him with determination.

"Alli I refuse to explain my actions to a fifteen year old." He stated crestfallen. "I saw such a bright future for this school…I guess im just not cut out for it."

"Are you serious? This has nothing to do with you…its us as the student body…You can't leave us like this."

"I'm not. Mrs. Hatsolackos is taking over. I just need a break to clear my head."

Driving off, Alli just was going to happen next?

….

"Bullfrog…CeCe can I come in?" Clare asked knocking at the door. She knew they were there because she saw their cars…including Eli's. She needed something…anything…to help herself dull the pain. When she turned the door knob, the door was open.

Walking in she saw no one…heard not a sound until she reached the family room. She saw CeCe in the chair crying. Walking over to her, Clare touched her shoulder and began to cry too.

"I am so sorry." CeCe said. "I didn't thing Eli was capable of this. I still have so many questions unanswered.

"It was us. I know it was. We are too unconventional. We weren't parents…we were…"

"No he loved you both. That I can say." Clare didn't know what else to do. The house was a mess. Everything was scattered.

"Where is Bullfrog?" Clare asked.

"Looking for a house." She answered. "We're moving away."

…

Dave looked out of the hospital room. No matter how hard he tried to forget that night. He still felt the burn of the bullet. The fear in Alli's eyes…his blood stains.

Looking at his nightstand, he admire the roses the Bhandari family had given him and card Alli bought it. Picking up the card he studied the delicate handwriting, "Get Well Soon, Please." Hearing someone come in the room he put the card down.

"Hey sweetie." Sadie walked in with a bear. "Gym class can wait." She smiled.

"Glad to know that." He kissed her. He began to hiss afterwards.

"How does it feel?"

"Like I got shot in the shoulder." Sadie folded her arms. "My bad, terrible joke."

….

"Clare it is best if we move." CeCe said.

"…Coward!" Clare stated. "You're running away. As much as I don't want to deal with the situation, it happened and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Eli is gone. He cant come back. Running to another town is not going make it any easier. His actions will still taint us."

"How dare you pass judgement on me. I just lost a son. I don't ever want to wish that on anyone else. How we deal with the situation is our business." CeCe screamed.

….

When Dave went to the bathroom, Sadie decided to fluff his pillow. She noticed the beautiful flowers and card.

"Just tidying." Dave teased her. Sadie just nodded.

…..

"If you loved him, you would understand." CeCe said.

"You know what. Maybe something is wrong with the way you two raise a child because Eli definitely didn't understand the meaning of love. Julia and I were both victims of his mindgames and sick twisted thoughts."

Clare walked out of the house. Walking back to her house, she dropped herself to the ground and began to cry. Never had she felt alone.

…

A sad spirit caught the souls of Degrassi. Everything was moving in slow motion. No one could concentrate. Sitting in media immersion class, all Alli could think of was that Dave should be sitting beside her now. Not paying attention to Oh she checked her e-mail. Surprisingly one message was from Eli"

"You shall dance a dieing death."

Closing it quickly, Alli went to the bathroom…without Oh's permission, but she did not care. Locking herself in the stoll, she began to crying. Eli was still doing damage from beyond the grave.

…..

"K.C. I know this is going to sound crazy but I think Eli wanted to die." Adam said as the walked home.

"Why do you say that? I mean…Eli was a…"

"An enigma….one who can not be predicted." Adam completed.

"Fitz did say Eli had another side to him but he could have just snapped." K.C. said.

"I know he did because he sent Alli a message. I saw her looking at it during class. She ran out the classroom hysterically."

"Why would he want to kill himself?" K.C. sent Jenna a text checking up on her.

"I don't know but Alli, Dave, Clare, and Fitz have to deal with the burden of seeing his death."

…

"Whats the matter?" Alli asked walking inside the room.

"Nothing." Dave lied turning on the tv.

"Stop it. Stop it." Alli said. "Would you just stop trying to take care of everyone else? You just shot. You're walking around like you're not affected by it. " She angrily hit him in the head with a pillow.

"You don't think I know that Alliah. I could have died and that scares the living hell out of me…the people I could have left behind." He stated.

"You don't deserve to be here. I do." She stated. "You idiot you shouldn't have gotten in my way." She said sitting on his bed.

"Sorry Alli for protecting you." He said sarcastically. "Just think of it as a homecoming present." He smiled.

"You're smiling but its not something to smile about. You could have died." He grabbed his shoulder a little bit.

"I remember everything until I got shot…after that it was a blur. The only thing I remember is your voice. Thanks for not leaving me."

"Your welcome." They did their handshake, but she felt something. Something she should have not felt.


	6. Calamity

Calamity

Chapter 6

…..

Clare found herself on the rooftop, thinking. Jenna gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with K.C.'s eyes. When one life leaves, another arises.

As she looked at the night sky, she held her heart. ..her heart that once belonged to Eli.

It should have been a joyous occasion for her but it just made her realize that just as easily that life can be given, it can be taken away.

Ms. Edwards was staring at her daughter outside. She was not the same. She wasn't the one who wore her heart on her sleeve, but she did love her daughter. She wasn't eating. She didn't want to see any of her friends. Her nightmares were getting worse, night by night.

…..

Fitz laid on his bed feeling grateful for another chance. Father Lonagan was like an actual father to him. Seeing that he was suffering, he gave Fitz a place to stay. Fitz didn't take his generosity lightly.

He thought of Clare…how she instantly forgave him without thinking.

Fitz tried to get through to Clare, but it was no use. She would go out of her way to avoid him. He knew why she did too….Eli. She felt as if she were betraying him. Fitz didn't care…he just didn't care. He would never givc up on Clare because he saw something in her.

Her forgiving heart always pulled him to her. He would help her forgive Eli and herself. Leaving his home, he was on his way to her.

….

Sadie wasn't stupid. Bianca told her about how Dave used to feel about Alli. It was evident. She had been trying to tell herself that his actions were to be humane…she didn't believe the lie herself. She was tired of always smiling and hiding her hurt.

She was the perfect girlfriend to him…of course he appreciated her, but was it the same way he saw Alli?

…

"So how is Dave doing? Sav sat on Alli's bed.

"…Good…I haven't been there in three days." Alli stated sadly as she continued to clean to avoid her brother's confused look."

"I don't get it…" He said. "I mean this guy…"

"Just because he saved my life doesn't mean I owe him anything." She said tensely. Sav sensed it too. Turning around she dropped the dust pan and broom and sat next to him.

"Now are you going to tell me." He insisted.

"I need to distance myself from him…feeling are starting to comeback. I thought I was stuck on Drew, but now all I can see is Dave…then I remember sweet Sadie…"

"Sis, avoiding him is not going to make feelings go away. If anything they might make him not like you."

"Maybe that's what I want." She put her hair in a ponytail. "Maybe I want him to stay away from me and focus on himself and Sadie. He needs someone perfect like her…"

"Has he acted on his feelings for you?" Alli shook her head.

"Then no worries."

….

As she came from her bathroom, Clare opened her room to find Fitz sitting on her bed. He looked like an angel…flawless. She shook her…these thoughts were not good for her to have. What would Eli say? He would say she betrayed him.

Walking inside, he stood up. Clare couldn't help how his brown eyes entrapped her. She was hypnotized.

Fitz wondered why she did not say something…she just stared. Maybe he did not belong there but he to try. Walking up to her, she began to back away from him until she hit her wall.

"Why are you so afraid of me Clare?" He asked.

"….Because I….I….I don't know." She cried. Wiping her tears away, she found herself smiling.

"You're smiling. I bet you haven't done that in a while." He backed away. He loved how her pale skin complimented her blue eyes. She nodded.

"You should rest." Fitz tried to grab her hand.

"No!" She practically screamed.

"I was just.."

"No Fitz. It's not you. I just can't be….a prisoner…of my dreams. My mom says they will go away in due time but I don't know. I fell for a fantasy…a lie. I wanted it to be true so badly Fitz. I am so sorry for what Eli did to you."

Fitz didn't know what to say. Sometimes words were not needed. Instead, he settled her in the bed. He stayed on top of the cover. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe with you here, the dreams won't come back." She said.

"I'll keep you safe." Fitz said.

…..

Adam continued to look at the little black book that Eli made his journal. His parents had given it to him a parting gift before they left. Some parting gift. He was scared to open it. He wanted to remember Eli for the person he thought he was…not the truth. He knew that diary would tell so much.

….


	7. Pandemonium

Pandemonium

Chapter 7

…

"Dave are you sure you are ready for this?" Mr. Turner parked his car in the school parking lot. "You can make up your homework assignment if you need more time."

"Dad for the millionth time…yes. I have to get back to my life. I cant let it keep me down. You and mom raised a strong man." Dave adjusted his sling.

"I know. I love you son." He stated.

"You too." Dave didn't thinking walking up the stairs would be the hardest think he would ever do but as he opened the door and people just stared at him.

"Glad to see you back here." K.C. stated.

"I feel like an attraction. People have been staring at me…and I've only been here for 5 minutes."

"It's just the shock." Drew walked up to them overhearing their conversation.

"I'm so glad you're back." Sadie smiled.

…

"Degrassi seems to be going back to normal." Clare stated at her locker.

"You look healthier too." Alli smiled.

"I am…sorry for not keeping in touch." She blushed. Alli didn't know the reason though. Fitz was really helping her. He was a good friend to her, but she noticed the way he looked at her. She found herself liking it. As the days progressed, she found herself talking to him…being around him.

"You don't have to apologize. I understand." She said when she noticed Dave walking down the hall."

"OMG. Dave's back…and he's coming down here. I got to go." Alli ran off. Dave saw the whole thing. It really hurt his feelings.

…..

Clare sat down in her seat. Looking over at Eli's seat, she felt overwhelmed. She felt as if he were still there…watching her every move. She could see how his eyes twinkled with madness. She would not give into this feeling. She would not let him win this war. Eli took away her sanity and security. She would get it back some way.

….

Alli went to the library instead of her home room. She couldn't see Dave. She just couldn't. Having a brother who was student council president had its advantages…like endless hall passes.

Dave knew she was in the library. He had a sense. She was going to give him an explanation. Walking up behind her, just stood there. He knew she felt his presence.

"What are you doing here?" Alli stated.

"I think I'm the one who should be asking questions? Why did you leave me Alli?" He tried to keep his voice down.

"Don't you get it Turner? I don't like you. I just use you for the attention." She said crying.

"You're lying because you're crying." He said. Taking the book from her hand he sat it back on the shelf. Putting his good arm on her shoulder; he made her look at him.

"I want answers. At least give me that." Dave knew how she felt. It became crystal clear to him.

"David…I did it because I can't get close to you. Every time I get….it doesn't matter. You have Sadie."

"This is not about Sadie. This is about me and you."

…..

"Adam I don't want it." Clare handed him back the book. They were walking to their next class.

"I think you need it more than I do." Adam said.

"You need to know how he felt about you." Clare stopped at this statement.

"I already know how he felt. Have you read it." Clare snapped back. Adam shook his head.

"Well tend to your house before you tend to mind. You're just as scared as I am so don't force me to do something you are not ready to do."

…..

"I panic ok." She finally said. "I'm a disaster. You need someone who is…not like me."

"So you do….like me." Dave said.

"…Yeah." She lowered her head. Dave grazed her cheek with his thumb. Alli's heart began to beat faster as he looked into her eyes.

"Alli…you're right. This can't be." He said but he didn't want to let her go.

"…I know. I'm glad your back." She said. He nodded. Both went their separate ways to class.

….

"I just can't go back Spike." Mr. Simpson cried in her arms. All his hard work was completely abolished. He lost respect for himself as well as a student who could have been saved. Snake comforted her husband. Another tragedy just happened. Their marriage had survived so much. Snake survived so much. Could he survive this?

"You have to go back. The students need you. What you have is a gift. Some things can't be controlled. This isn't your fault." She said.

"You sound like Radiche. I asked him how he got over Rick's death…he said he never did…he just believed that this was a teaching experience." Snake continued to cry.

…

Clare decided to visit Fitz for luch. He was going out of his way to make sure she was getting better. She wanted him to know that she did appreciate him. She would always find herself staring at him. Everything he did seemed to amaze. Especially, his new perspective on life. He was so grateful to be alive.

Walking in, she smiled as she saw him making a smoothie for a customer. He looked so cute at everything he did. Clare had never met someone rough around the edges as well so natural…and calm. He didn't notice her yet, but she did. She noticed how his muscles rippled….Stop.

"Hey." He looked up wiping the counter.

"hey" she said shyly, playing with her curls. Fitz knew she was nervous around him. Did he make her react like this…it didn't matter he could never take away the pain Eli caused her.

"You came to visit me…I see." Fitz smiled. She nodded. Why was she acting like this? Taking a seat next to her…words were not expressed…it was more a feeling to be around eachother…to know they weren't alone.

…

Students, since the tragedy that has stricken our school can never be forgotten, The J.T. Yorke Foundation will be our guest speaker for today." Mrs. Hatsolackos voice rang over the intercom.

As the students settled in the auditorium, a young man took the podium.

"Hello everyone. I am Jimmy Brooks. Its been a while since I walked the halls of my alumi school, but nothing has changed. "

"O my god." Drew whispered to Dave and K.C. "He's a basketball legend." He stared in awe.

"I came to talk to all about how words can hurt…and how life can change drastically for someone. That's my story. I was an athlete…made decent grades….nothing could keep me down….until one day a gun shot wound went into my back. As you can see I'm using a cane to walk but it wasn't that simple.

"I'm here to let you know that violence can not be contained. It can turn anyone into a cold hearted animal. No one knows why it happens, it just does. Bullets have no name to them." Dave just listened to his speech. The others were making harmless jokes, but it made him realize that he was so lucky to be alive. After the others left Principal H. asked him to stay. Alli passed him not saying a word.

…

"You know it's pretty obvious you and Dave are avoiding eachother." Bianca caught up to Alli in the hallway.

"Why should it matter to you?" The small girl asked.

"….Sadie's my friend…I've haven't met too many good people in my life, but she is one of them…keep staying away from Dave." Bianca commanded.

Alli walked off…as if she didn't know this already.

"Bianca's up to damage control I see." Clare said.

"Yeah."Alli said sullenly.

"Look…as your best friend….Sadie isn't some weak puppy so will everyone stop treating her as one. People….break-up…its apart of life. If it makes better sense, you were in the picture before she was…despite Drew or not." Alli and Clare walked home.


	8. Silent Whispers

Silent Whispers

Chapter 8

…

"Mark…" Clare opened her bedroom to see him shirtless. They both blushed as Clare turned around until he was finished.

"ummmmm…you should really lock your door. Anyone could come in." He nonchalantly put on a muscle shirt.

"I usually do. I was in a rush today. I forgot." Clare definitely didn't mind if the consequences of her actions would be to have Fitz end up in her bedroom with no shirt on.

"I'm finished." He touched her shoulder.

"Not that I'm asking you to leave…but why are you here?" Clare put her bag down.

"Just put on some exercise clothes." Fitz smiled with a plan up his sleeve.

….

"Mrs. H tells me you did a great thing." Jimmy sat at the end of the stage.

"I wouldn't say that. I just reacted." Dave said shrugging his shoulders.

"Will you be able to play basketball again?" Jimmy looked at his shoulder.

"Hopefully in about six months." Dave said.

"That's good. I just wanted to tell you that was incredible how you were able to face death like that. With me…I ran away. I understand whats its like to be scared to the point where…"

"Where you were praying to God to forgive all of your sins before you reach heaven." Dave completed.

"Yeah."

…

Adam was in his room crying. He didn't allow himself to cry. He tried to be strong, but Eli was one of the first people to accept him for who he was. He missed him…his morbid humor…his black clothes…even his crazy antics.

Looking at his nightstand, he picked up the black book reading its pages.

_The voices in my head won't stop talking. They won't let me be. I try to stop it, but I always give in to the destruction. This destruction will keep Julia coming back. We match. We are perfect for eachother. I didn't mean to hit her. I never do. Sometimes rage just consumes._

_Rage of her not paying attention to me, or answering my calls. Dissapointment of other guys staring at her. SHE IS MINE. ONLY MINE!_

…

"You're taking me to a gym." Clare asked.

"Yes. It's a great place to work off stress and relieve tension." He opened the door for him.

"I see you brought a pretty girl with you." A tall man walked up to the.

"Yes…Clare this is Phil. My other mentor." They shook hands.

" I wanted to introduce her to boxing." Fitz explained. As Phil went to get their equipment. Fitz laughed as he watched her nervous. This was going to be interesting.

…..

_I have to stop Fitz. He is going to destroy everything I worked so hard to build back again. I see the way he stares at Clare. I won't take this sitting down. I will stop him at all costs._

_The voices in my head keep telling me to hurt him. I will. He will not take Clare away from me. _

Adam held his stomach. He was overcome with nausea. He couldn't read anymore. Eli was a truly twisted being.

….

"My life drastically changed when I got hit with bullet. My whole perspective changed." Jimmy said rubbing his leg.

"That's how I feel. It made me mature more…take responsibility." Dave said. "Are you happy? I mean…would you turn back the hands of time if you could?"

"No way man." Jimmy laughed. "I have a wife and two beautiful kids. I can now walk again." Dave listened to him. Hopefully he could be happy too.

"Your wife was with you the whole entire way?"

"No…I met her in rehab. I was with someone before I met her though."

"Who? Dave ws intrigued.

"Ashley Kerwin, "Degrassi's Sweetheart." But we were growing apart. She didn't realize that I needed to revamp my way of living. I wanted to find another way to be independent. Trista did she was honest and loyal…why do I have a feeling this is hitting close to home?" Jimmy folded his arms

"….Because it is." Dave finally said.

…..

"Fitz I can't do this." Clare said.

"Yes you can Clare. You need to test your limitations." Fitz said steading the punching bag.. "Hit it." He commanded. Clare did. Oddly enough, she found herself feeling alieveiated of all the stress she was carrying…her parents divorce…eli's suicide…her feelings toward….

"Looking good Fitz." A girl walked by him breaking her concentration.

"Hey Sarah." Fitz flirted back. Was Clare jealous of this? She wasn't with him, but it hurt. He could have at least done it behind her back. She understood what Sarah saw in him….attractive….charming in his own way…great listener…and he had a body out of this world. She imagined what it would be like to rub her hands over….Not again.

"Sorry. I'm doing it again. I'm pushing you too hard. Fitz said. Clare looked at him. She didn't mean to say that aloud.

"No…no…I need it." Clare sat herself down. Fitz walked over to get two waterbottles. Walking back to her, she looked his body up and down shyly. Mark smiled noticing what she was doing but he didn't say anything.

She was finally beginning to open up…to smile…to breathe without crying. He wondered if she knew he did the same to her when she wasn't looking. Without thinking, he brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers.

…

"Sadie's good for me, but Alli is…"

"A beautiful disaster…" Jimmy completed. "She keeps you on your feet and she is level headed as well as unpredictable." Dave nodded.

…

Clare was really fighting her strong feelings toward Fitz. She couldn't help it. She wanted to kiss him. Would he let her.

Walking her home, Fitz thought the same thing…how soft her lips were. He would never know because he would not force himself on her.

"Thank you for…walking me home." Clare said. As she was turning the doorknob, he grabbed her wrist looking into her eyes.

"Goodnight." He said. Clare stood there waiting for him to make a move.

Fitz couldn't…if he did, she would hate him. She was still in love with Eli. He couldn't do that to her.


	9. Rucus of the Heart

Rucus of the Heart

Chapter 9

The days began to pass. Dave and Alli continued to play their "duck and dogde" game. They would always make sure they never got to close to one another, yet they made sure they could be close enough to see each other.

Clare was finally moving on with her life, but one person she wanted to make apart of her life…Fitz. She knew he liked her but why did he not make a move? Was he just being nice to her. Of course, he was.

….  
>"Alli you are going to tutor Dave." Her mother said.<p>

"Mom…I can't ok. We are not friends." She said. Her mother continued to wash the dishes.

"Alli the least you can do is help him with calculus. His father called us today." Her mother was not dumb. She knew her daughter had feelings for the young man. She wanted her to be happy. Alli needed happiness. Over the course of days, she noticed her bubbly manner was fading. This would do the trick.

"….ok….but only because you told me too."

…

"Clare what are you doing here?" Fitz said opening the door.

"I am visiting you for once." Clare bit her lip. Fitz let her in not knowing what to say. As he sat down, Clare grabbed his face kissing him. Fitz couldn't fight it anymore, he layed them both on the couch. As he put his arms around her waist,she gasped for air. Using this as oppourtunity, he slipped his tongue in her mouth…tasting her.

Clare was getting lightheaded. Fitz's tongue was driving her so crazy. Breaking apart, she smiled.

"I've always wanted to do that." She said.

"Clare that shouldn't have happened." Fitz tried regaining his breath. Her heart began to break in a million pieces.

…

It was apparent Alli didn't want Dave in her room…around her. But both of their parents insisted. He didn't want to be so close to here without touching her. He admired how cute she was as she bit the pencil turning the page to explain the problem to him.

"Here is how to do the derivative." Alli began to explain dryly.

"Look if you don't want me here, I'll leave." He insisted grabbing his book, he made an awkward move making his shoulder hurt.

"Shit" he winced. Alli looked with concern in her eyes.

"Are you ok?" She tried checking his shoulder herself.

"Bhandari why should you care? All you do is push me away. Sometimes I just cant stand you." He backed away off of her bed continuing to wince.

"Well….i hate you too Turner." She said upset.

….

"Why not. You didn't stop me." She said adamantly. Fitz didn't look in her eyes, if he did he would be lost.

"…Because you don't know what you want." He said sitting up.

"Yes…I do. I kissed you because I wanted too." Clare said crushing her lips on his once more. He hated this but he had to do what was right for her. Pushing her off of him, he pried himself from the softest lips he had ever tasted.

"No…no…you love Eli. You're not exactly over him. You just have feelings for me because I am here helping you."

"I thought you liked me Mark." She said flustered.

"I do…you don't know how much I waited for that kiss to happen, but I cant take adavantage of you like that."

…..

"Well at least we're on the same page." He said waiting for the muscle to relax.

Alli couldn't stand to see him in pain. Guiding him to the bed, she took off his shirt trying to examine the wound. She didn't know why. She was no doctor, but she wanted to help.

Dave was hypnotized by her. Alli couldn't help herself from staring at his chest. Basketball had done him well.

"I thought you hated me." He said.

"I do…I hate these feelings I have for you…I hate you…I hate how you make me feel." she said refusing to look in his eyes as she realized what she was doing.

….

Fitz had to make her leave. If she had stayed any longer he would regret it. He would not corrupt her. He would not be selfish like Eli. If he really cared for the girl he would have known killing himself would be an injustice. Now he was there to pick up the pieces…not that he minded. He just wished Clare could see him for him…not a replacement.

He touched his lips as he remembered the way she moaned and relaxed in his touch…but he knew she didn't mean it because of the way she threw herself onto to him. It was just because he was there…nothing more... nothing less.

….

As the days went by, tension was still in the air. Truths could not be told…reality could not be faced. Relationships wanted to be formed but feared took control of their actions.

Adam watched his friends deal with their emotions. He felt sorry for them. He wished he knew how to help. He had confronted Clare with Eli's diary once again…this time she took it but he knew she didn't read it. If she had, she would have had a better understanding of Eli. She would be able to fully see for what he was and stop blaming herself for his death.

Clare could feel Adam's eyes on her, but she dare not look. She didn't want to hear him try to convince her about the guilt. She didn't want to hear him try to tell her how to go after Fitz. When did he become the voice of reason? Why was she still afraid of Fitz.

She put herself out there and he rejected her.

….

"Dave, why don't you want me?" Sadie asked him at his locker. Dave just stood there. He didn't know what to say.

"…." He continued to stare

"Just because you don't treat me badly doesn't mean you don't treat me as you should. You don't kiss me…look at me anymore." Sadie said saddened.

"Sadie. You're beautiful, smart, athletic…"

"But I'm not what you want anymore. I can see that." Sadie walked away.

….

He broke up with her. Alli didn't believe it. Why would he be so stupid to do that? But she knew the answer.

She felt the answer. The two had natural chemistry that evolved from friendship. Not paying attention she bumped into Saide.

"I'm sotty" Her mind else.

"I bet you're happy."Sadie pouted walking away. Happiness wasn't the world.

…..

Dave sat in The Dot. He tried calling Alli but she would not answer. Fitz walked over to him taking his break.

"Seems like we are both in a dilemma." Fitz stated.

"yeah…" Dave commented. "I'm tired of always doing the right thing and sparing other people's feelings. No matter what I do, I will always hurt someone." Fitz just listened.

"I'm tired of waiting to be happy when what I want is right in front of me. I'm going after her."

"Dave, sometimes if we push hard enough we will push them away."

"At least I can say I tried." He walked out.

….

Alli settled in her bed as her mother came in to tuck her in like a little child. Alli smiled at the comforting gesture.

"Mom…" She began.

"I know Alli…its just that I want you to know that you can come to me for anything. I'm sorry it took you running away for me to see that." She kissed her forehead.

"I know." Alli smiled.

"Then are you going to tell me about Dave." That comment hit a nerve.

"I may be old, but I know when two people like each other. He didn't stand in front of a bullet just because he is your friend. You didn't stop seeing him because you were mad at him…you didn't want to hurt him. I know my daughter." She smiled sadly.

"You're right. I miss him." Alli said.

"….Then try." Her mother cut the light off. As if on cue, she heard a sound at her window. Walking to it, she saw Dave. He didn't wait for her to open the window as he climbed up the tree.

Opening the window for him, he kissed her…hard. Alli was not expecting this, but she liked it. She liked how his tongue played with hers. She liked how he sucked her lips.

"Alliah, you think you know what's good for you and me but you don't. This is what we both want." Dave kissed her again.


End file.
